Foster Fears and Tears – the harder side of fostering…

Today, I had actually planned to publish a piece about our first ever foster dog, Zoe. However, as can happen in the fostering world, circumstances have changed quite swiftly for our beautiful current foster girl, Bridie, and so I thought I should use this opportunity to discuss the other, harder side to fostering… The part where things can happen out of your control and, as a dutiful foster parent, you must simply just trust the process and know that you are doing the best for the gorgeous grey in your care…

Fostering is the most wonderful, enriching thing I believe that I have ever done in my life. It brings me and my husband so much joy, so much laughter and always reignites our faith in the world. We feel utterly privileged to be trusted to have these majestic creatures in our care and to be part of their journeys to finding their forever homes. However, I would be lying if I said it was all rainbows and butterflies the entire time. The hardest part for me is not the initial sleepless nights, or the sometimes frustrating house training or even the often exhausting emotions from worrying endlessly about our fosters while they are with us – the hardest part for me is when they leave…

The definition for the word ‘foster’ is “to encourage the development of something”, and that is exactly our purpose. While these gorgeous snoots are in our care, our job is to encourage these kennel dogs to learn how to live in the everyday world and to ultimately develop into becoming ‘adoptable’. Therefore, once their development has inevitably reached its prime… we have done our job.

So frequently, people will say to me: “Oh, I could never foster, because I could never give them away!” And, honestly, I always smile at that sentiment because I totally get it. When fostering, there is a part of you that always must remember that you are part of the process – an integral, incredibly important part of the process – but you have to always keep your eyes on the prize: the beautiful forever home that is waiting for this dog, that they might not find without your help! Do I sob privately pretty much every time a foster dog leaves us, even when it is to the most delightful, loving adoptive family? YES. Do I spend sleepless nights tossing and turning, worrying if the dog is happy in their new home? YES. Do I have moments where I doubt this whole fostering process and doubt myself, convinced that I am just not cut out for it? YES.

But then I remember what we are actually responsible for fostering as foster parents: hope. We foster the hope that lies within that greyhound. The hope that one day they will be happy and know exactly where their rightful place is in the world – usually on a comfy chair, snuggled up with a kind owner, surrounded by love. The beauty of that wipes away any doubt or fear.

This weekend, I have had to remind myself of this: the reason why we foster. Our gorgeous foster girl, Bridie, sadly must return to the kennels on the vet’s orders for at least one month, in order to have complete bed rest for her leg injury (or as close as a dog can!). My initial reaction was to sob (rather pathetically) down the phone to our supportive kennel manager, not understanding why she can’t stay with us and totally doubting the process. But then I remembered: this is all about Bridie, not us, and our job as foster parents is to always, ALWAYS, put the dog’s needs first. Taking her back to the kennels will feel devastating in the moment, and I will cry a tonne, but she will return knowing exactly what love feels like and that she is completely deserving of that. Now, that is just remarkable.

To finish off this bittersweet post, I wanted to add some incredible news, which bolsters my opinion that we must trust the process: Bridie has found her forever home! She has spent time with very close friends of ours, who are just the most wonderful people, and they simply adore her. They plan to visit her at the kennels and continue to build a relationship with her and, when I told them that there is a chance she could always limp, their response was: “we don’t care, we have decided we want her as part of our family”. Cue, more tears! They are willing to wait as long as it takes, they are willing to be patient and they are willing to foster the hope within Bridie – just, wow…

On this happy ending note, I will keep you all updated on sweet Bridie, who will no doubt be spoilt and adored at the adoption kennels, and who will also be visited by me three times a week for cuddles. We will be with her every step of the way throughout her journey, no matter how long it takes. Go, Bridie!

Love and snoot kisses,

Berry x